Digital marketer and young mother of two, Blessing Chinedu, talks to AJIBADE OMAPE about the circumstances that prompted her erstwhile boyfriend to pour acid on her after she confronted him over issues of infidelity
Can you introduce yourself?
My name is Blessing Chinedu. I am from Etche Local Government Area of Rivers State, but I am based in Delta State.
How old are you?
I will be 26 this year.
What made your erstwhile boyfriend pour acid on your face?
I don’t know. There is no reason.
Was there a quarrel between the two of you before he poured acid on your face?
No, there was no quarrel on that particular day. But before the incident happened, there was an issue we had; he impregnated a lady and lied to me about it. I was doing better financially than him at the time. I later found out that he was the person who impregnated the lady. So, I stopped supporting the lady financially.
We began to have misunderstandings after that. He was not happy that I was not supporting the lady financially anymore; I insisted that I would not assist her financially again.
He asked me for some money, which I refused to give him because I felt he would give the lady any money I gave him. I did not suspect he was planning something bad against me; he threatened me, but I did not take his threat seriously because I thought it was just one of the normal things he usually did to get money from me.
However, two months later, this incident happened. A day before the attack, he was begging me to send him some money, but I didn’t, because I wanted to save in my cooperative. We did not fight; we did not quarrel.
How did this unfortunate incident happen?
He woke up one morning and went to work; he is a teacher, a Chemistry and Biology teacher. He went to the school where he was teaching that day. So, I was at home, because I am into marketing on Facebook, where I run adverts. It is like digital marketing.
On that day, I went out to charge my power bank. When I got home, I saw him pouring some substance on my clothes. He was using that to distract me. Immediately I came in and saw him pouring the substance on my clothes, I asked him what he was doing. But the moment I asked him that question, he faced my direction and poured the acid on my face, pushed me inside, and locked the door.
My four-year-old daughter was even inside the house at that time. Part of the acid he poured on me touched her leg and hand, and she began to shout. I rushed to the bathroom to get some water, but there was no water. It was something he had already planned because that night, I had fetched water and filled the big drum in the bathroom.
At that point, my face was burning, and the door was locked. My daughter was smart enough to open the door. I was crying, but my daughter hates seeing me cry. As my face was burning and the pain was becoming unbearable, my mind told me that it was acid my boyfriend who is currently on the run had poured on my face. I did practical lab work in secondary school, so I knew it was the smell of acid.
I came out and could not see anything. My daughter and I were shouting. The first person who saw me told me it was acid, and people started pouring oil and water on me before I was rushed to the hospital.
What did his parents say after the incident?
Three days later, his father, who is a well-known lawyer in Delta State, came and told me I was lucky to be alive and asked me to let go. I was not happy because I had not done anything to him, and we had been together for nine years.
I knew what we had been through together. I said I was not going to let go and that he would pay for what he did. But the father told me to do whatever I wanted and that he was going to defend his son in court.
How has the incident affected you?
I’m now a beggar on social media because I want to get better. I would have lost my left eye if it had not been for coming out on social media and being able to do my surgery on time. I’ve undergone several surgeries where doctors took skin from my eyes, ears, and private parts just to fill my face, but he is still walking freely. I have done several interviews, but I have not received justice, and his father is even threatening me.
What did the medical doctors tell you after they treated you?
I was told it would cost about N120m to reconstruct my face and do full plastic surgery. I have consulted a hospital in Spain and another in India, and they told me it was going to cost N160m.
For now, I am only treating the scars because my doctor knows that I cannot afford such an amount of money. I go to the hospital every month and spend nothing less than N800,000 on my treatment, including gels, oils, and the things I use on my face.
Right from day one, my ex-boyfriend’s family has never assisted me with anything. They still threaten me not to post anything about the incident online. I think bloggers published his father’s photo. Even the man who did this to me told me I deserved what I got because I thought I was making more money than him. I don’t know his whereabouts, but I’m sure he is still in Nigeria.
Have you reported the matter to the police?
Harrison, who is in charge of my case, is no longer responding to me. I filed a petition at Asaba (police station) whereby I paid money for them to track him, but I didn’t get any feedback from them.
Are you saying the matter has been mismanaged by the police?
Yes. Earlier, I reported to the police, but I think his father bribed them because they are all from Delta State.
When did you meet your former boyfriend?
We met about nine years ago. I have kids with him: a seven-year-old son and a four-year-old daughter. I was still in my adolescence, about 17 or 18, and I think he was 28 or 29 years old.
When did this incident happen?
It happened last year, on June 6 precisely, just about 8 months ago.
Are you still doing your business?
I am no longer doing anything for now, due to frustration and hateful comments. I deactivated my Facebook account, and I no longer have a Facebook account. I only have a TikTok account right now, and people who I used to do business with no longer contact me for anything. Maintaining good mental health now is just by the grace of God because I am living a life of regrets and grudges.
What did your parents say about the incident?
My parents are alive but are not financially stable enough to fight the case. They are very religious people.
Did they support you in reporting the matter to the police?
Yes, they supported me, but the man’s father could have bribed them, and I’m being threatened.
You call him your former boyfriend. Is it that there was no formal engagement or marriage?
No, we did not have any marriage or anything related to that. We just started a relationship.
How much have you spent so far on your health?
If it should be calculated, I have spent more than N20m. I know how much the three surgeries have cost me, as well as my medication and everything I use every month. I recently started another treatment that cost me almost N700,000.
The healing is improving, but it’s delayed because what I need is surgery. Surgery would be faster, but I’m treating the scars, and it’s something that will take years to heal.
How have you been catering for yourself and your children with your current condition?
My son is not with me; my former boyfriend’s family took my seven-year-old son away. His father is a big lawyer, so they threatened me. Although my daughter is still with me, they are all alive and healthy, but I have not seen my son for almost three months now. The last time I saw him, I was unable to get closer to him. I’m scared to visit because I don’t know their plans.
Have you faced any form of discrimination since the unfortunate occurrence?
I face discrimination every day. That’s normal. That is the number one thing that makes my mind think of revenge. I am a social media person, and I get a lot of it (discrimination). People ask me if I didn’t see the red flag before the incident happened. If someone had told me that my former boyfriend would do this to me, I would never have believed it.
Can you give any instance where somebody mocked or discriminated against you because of your condition?
A lot; people tell me that I’m using my face to make money online and that they have contributed millions for me, but I’m still where I am. People say I look like a vampire compared to what I looked like before. Some people say that I was thriving and popular before, but now I’ve been humbled.
What would you want the government to do for you in this situation?
I want justice, even if it means life imprisonment for my former boyfriend. I don’t mind. Even if I see him in 30 years, I will condemn him myself.
Are you not ready to forgive him?
No. I’m not ready to forgive him. I know what I’ve been through, and I can’t forgive him.
What advice have your parents been giving you to comfort you?
They encourage me, and my mum also helps me financially. She comforts and advises me, giving me hope.
What is your educational background?
I’m not a university graduate; I’m just a high school leaver.
What is your message to the police on this matter?
I filed a petition, but they are not responding. I want them to catch him, and I want to see him behind bars. I don’t want him to start hurting innocent people because I know what I’m going through. It has not been easy. He is the father of my children, but I don’t care. He wanted to kill me because after pouring acid on me, he locked me inside the house. He didn’t consider that I was his children’s mother.
Do you want the services of a lawyer?
I do. I have a lawyer, but it is just that it costs money to fight a case. I have just forgotten about it now so I could focus on my health. I can’t afford a lawyer right now.
